My Worst enemy, My Greatest Love

I am pretty sure that we all have once or twice go face to face with our mother and have a day we will remember for life. Its either the the way she rules our life, or the way she choose what she thinks right for us or how she command how we should live our life :)

I've had that day with my mother and until today i can remember it clearly as if i am actually living it the moment. But that's not the only one that i remember about my relationship with my mother. There are a lot more times, a lot more places, a lot more reasons and a lot more excuses to start a day with her. She is just like that. The biggest enemy as she command everything and everyone as she likes (that's how i felt that time when i was growing up and experience puberty hormones). Then when i pass that puberty hormones, there she was again being my biggest enemy as she always seems to know what best and that i have to follow suit :)

Through all that stages, we mostly remember the bad hair day we had with our mother. And many times it cloud over the great things she did like waking up late at night just to get me a drink cos i was sick. And while i am sleeping she had to hold on into something to keep herself awake through the night. Just in-case i woke up and ask for drink or just had a nightmare. Now that i am getting mature :) and see it with a better point of view, with a broaden understanding, i see the wisdom my mother taught me. Through all the days bad and worse she still support me. It doesn't really matter to her how i mess my life or how good i am, she simply loves and support me, to be what the happy me. To see me living my life in joy is her utmost joy and that's a mother's beauty.

Medan, February 01, 2012
Copyright©Sylvia Sipayung 

A GLASS OF SWEET MEMORIES

It’s easier to go on
Accepting that it’s all gone
After all that said and done
I have to go on

There are so many memories for me to cherish
Why wasting life in bitterness
Tomorrow the sun will again rise
Pick your glass up and let’s say... cheers

We have had so much time
We have shared so many dreams
In our garden of love we have had the time of our own

When the moon shine over the blue lagoon

Copyright©Sylvia Sipayung

The Journey

Its been tough, breathtaking, lonely, wonderful and all :) its a journey to find myself and sometimes it gets tiring, boring and all that makes me feel like worthless. Like my struggle goes away for nothing, like all that i have done is useless. But then there were the moment when i slowly found myself. What i am, what i wanna be, where i am heading for and how i wanna go there. When i was younger i used to decide that something has to be that way or this way. Most of time its my way or the high way :)  And along with the growing length of my road so grow my mind and my understanding. Now instead of declaring that things are ugly just because its not the way i want it, i learn to take a closer look and find something amusing or amazing on the new looks. I learn to appreciate the others point of view. I learn to appreciate of how they view it if i can not enjoy the view. Thus enable me to see the beauty in the choice not made by me.

As time goes by, from a day to dusk to another dawn i learn that everything has its value, has it meaning and has its own time. So for everything there is a time and for everything there's a reason. Its doesnt have to be my way or the highway. To me now its only about get on my way, enjoying the journey, take time to get in touch with all that around along the journey and go far. Either i finally go the place i plan to be or ending up somewhere else far far away, i am sure its only about appreciating whats there and get to get myself the reason to be and i will feel fully alive :)


Medan, January 27, 2012
Copyright©Sylvia Sipayung

Year of 2012

Days gone by, a day to a week to month to year and suddenly we are facing another year. However hard the hardships we have faced last year,we are here today in the new year of 2012..The year some says as end of the world. The year where the cycle of Mayan's calendar stop. But whatever have done,its gone and whatever not yet come still a mystery. So,what we have is today and today alone.Let's live our life today to the very best of what we are. To live it to what makes us happy and by doing so hope affect someones day too. But at least we owe it to our self to live to our best as a thanksgiving of life we live.

CARPE DIEM!

Medan, January 26,2012
Copyright©Sylvia Sipayung

What if

There are surely time when each of us questioning our life, questioning what we are, what we going to do with our life. Where are we heading to? So many times then we would say what if i have done this that way or this way? An endless questions, an endless quest that is really tiring and if we can not find the answer of what we really are then we are bound to go for a long long tiresome quest. Thank God if we make it through and come out winning, finding the true meaning of our existence, the true calling of our being. That will be a victorious journey. But sometimes its not about being a victorious end but simply about get to the other end of your journey save and sound, satisfied, older and wiser :) knowing that you are alive and that you are Happy being alive. 

Just now i am writing to a question in a group post on one of the group i joined about women. This girl asking for opinions and advice about her life and how she should go with it.  She is asking what if she stops what she is doing now which is pursuing for her Phd and makes her family and friends happy and proud of her.  Now what if she stops doing that? Will they still be as happy and as proud as they are now seeing her pursuing her Phd.  Another case, her ex bf cheated on her and now she is starting new relationship and worries of what if this guy also lie? What if he too will hurt and leave her brokenhearted? Should she loves him still and find out or should she leave him and be on her own.

Those what if question tends to kill us silently since we usually use it in a negative terms to describe of things that we are afraid of.  Just wonder how bout we use that in positive terms to describe things that we will regret if we are not doing it :)  Sometimes those what if just brings us further from our happiness. Lets just live it one day at a time and live it to the fullest!

Medan, January 24, 2012
Life is a struggle worth to fight for
Copyright©Sylvia Sipayung